Story of my life...

I think it’s time to explore the possibility, that somewhere deep down inside, women like this are afraid of commitment. There is something that holds this woman back, ebbs into her subconscious and allows her to place herself with people and in situations that do not lead to commitment. When it all goes wrong, these women get to be upset, be miserable and nod their heads in a sure-fire agreement that men are a pain in the arse, unavailable and that they’ll never find happiness. It gives them permission to be right and they don’t ever have to properly address the reason why they aren’t getting commitment and how they could ultimately end up alone, or attached and unhappy. Because remember ladies, just because you ‘have’ the guy, it doesn’t make you committed. You could be just as miserable as you would be if you were single! Making a semblance of commitment with a guy who doesn’t seem to know his arse from his elbow with your relationship is a one sided thing and a guaranteed trip to Misery City.

Committing to someone in the true sense of commitment is a very scary thought for most people, but plenty of people do it, despite all the tales of divorce and heartbreak. Giving yourself entirely to someone and trusting them with your heart, your feelings and essentially your life is a bloody scary thing! If we have witnessed examples of it all going tits up with someone close to us, say at a very young age, or even took the risk once of letting it all hang out only for it to end in tears, something internally in the back of the mind, or for some people at the forefront of their mind, decides that they should protect themselves from these situations. Like damage control.

The fact of the matter is that if a woman met a guy that was half way decent, that truly cared about her and wanted to have a proper relationship with her, that would scupper that secret fear of commitment because she’d have to make the effort and put herself at risk. An unavailable guy (even if he is decent) removes that fear because ultimately, deep down we all know the way the story goes. 

From the most kick ass website: http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk

Reaction to our feelings

When you die, you are freed from your senses. While you are living, you are caught up in your senses and reacting to memories of things you wish you had or had not done. Many people live in a constant state of overlapping reactions. They try to find peace of mind on the outside, externally. Reactions are caused by what we have placed in the subconscious mind that we have not fully understood. Reactions are packed away in the subconscious mind, influencing our everyday life, attracting our successes and failures to us. We keep meeting blocks because of our reactions in the subconscious mind that we set up in the past. Overcome these reactions, and opportunities will open up and we will begin to succeed. Reaction is a natural thing, either positive or negative. If we are reacting in a negative way, that is because of lack of understanding; if in a positive way, that gives us more understanding, and we become our own teacher or psychologist. 

If you do not understand your reaction to something, wait until it subsides emotionally, so you will not be upset, then try to understand it by writing about it in a quiet moment. Then burn the paper in an inauspicious fire, such as in a garbage can. This vasana daha tantric process releases or detaches the emotion from the memory. This means that the memory of the experience no longer harbors the emotion that was previously attached to it and vibrating twenty-four hours a day. You will still have the memory, but without a reaction or emotional charge attached to it.

There are many individuals who get their security from their reactions, who make themselves disappointed and keep themselves in a constant state of emotional vibration. Peace of mind is not a blank state. It is not having emotion attached to the memory patterns within the subconscious. These memory patterns, once freed from emotion, remain at peace, and then pure contentment resides through the entire mind. A negative reaction can be likened to a fog over the city. You cannot see clearly because of the fog.

When we react to something, how long does it take before it subsides? How can we guide our lives so as to have only positive reactions? We have to awaken a certain control over our nature. We have to anticipate what is going to happen to us. Whether we admit it or not, we attract everything that happens to us. What we react to, and what we have reacted to in the past, we will create in our future. If we face experience with understanding, we will free ourselves from recreating past unpleasant experiences. Experience is man's greatest chain. It holds him in a certain pattern. The chains of experience get stronger and stronger until man enters spiritual life through the realms of understanding. Every man must decide whether he wants to be caged in by experience or be freed by understanding the cause of the experience.

A negative reaction may have been set up in the mind many years ago. How long does it take to subside? In a person with some understanding, the initial reaction will subside in a few hours, but it takes five to seven days before it subsides enough for him to get a complete understanding. The average man reacts to something every day. That's what makes him average. A reaction today, another one tomorrow, another one the day after tomorrow, then those reactions are overlapping. To stop these overlapping reactions, we have to sit down and face everything that we have created for ourselves in the past and control our circumstances until the reaction subsides.

Be on your guard. Control your circumstances and your life. Guard your weak points with understanding, and don't allow yourself to be put into a position where you will react. Then you can become fully conscious of what is within you and within your fellow man.