Anxiety-Creativity

“The truly creative mind in any field is no more than this: A human creature born abnormally, inhumanly sensitive. To him… a touch is a blow, a sound is a noise, a misfortune is a tragedy, a joy is an ecstasy, a friend is a lover, a lover is a god, and failure is death. Add to this cruelly delicate organism the overpowering necessity to create, create, create — so that without the creating of music or poetry or books or buildings or something of meaning, his very breath is cut off from him. He must create, must pour out creation. By some strange, unknown, inward urgency he is not really alive unless he is creating.”

– Pearl S. Buck

People are a lot less complicated than you give them credit for – what complicates people are your perceptions of what you think they’re doing and not accepting the simple truth of their actions or character.

Be tough?

You want a thicker skin for dealing with the world, not for protecting your heart from someone who professes to care about you.

Mutality.

Many of the stories that readers share about their relationship experiences, in a nutshell boil down to things not being mutual. Lack of mutual interest, lack of mutual words and actions, lack of mutual values, lack of mutual love, care, trust, and respect and lack of mutual feelings and relationship. Unfortunately, if it’s not mutual, whatever you have in mind for the relationship isn’t going to happen.

The harder you work at what is already on an imbalanced and unhealthy footing is the less mutual it becomes, especially as what you feel and do becomes distorted.

You’ll end up feeling rejected, being confused, in pursuit and feeling like you have to ‘win’ them over and in turn, not good enough, and you’ll get overwhelmed by your feelings if you don’t opt out at the lack of mutuality. It’ll become difficult to distinguish between who feels what and who is doing what.

And maybe that’s what’s so incredibly difficult to get your head around in these situations; how can you be feeling these feelings ‘alone’?

It can boggle the mind to fathom how you can feel something so deep, so all encompassing, so consuming…that the other person doesn’t feel. How can this be? Surely we can’t feel so intensely for someone without having some contribution from them?

It’s like raising your hand and saying “Gimme five…” and then being left hanging, only it’s your heart hanging over a precipice.

 Real, mutual love doesn’t have ‘buts’. You don’t need someone saying “I love you but…you know my situation” or “I love you but I can’t give you what you want” or even “I love you and we’ll always be friends but…”

You want someone to say “I love you” – simplicity. After they say it, you continue about your life together, a life I might add that reflects that of two people who love each other mutually. You hug, you kiss, you make plans, those plans come to fruition but before you even make plans, you can even get on and enjoy the simple, normal things that make up the day to day.

There’s no being left hanging. Loving someone that doesn’t step up and ‘meet’ you in a mutual relationship is like throwing your energy into the abyss. It’s demoralising.

It’s impossible to quantify what another person feels and work out if what you feel is what they feel. Any one us can profess anything we like, hence why love is an action feeling. We see how mutual something is by the results. If you look around and you see the results are, that you’re still waiting around for someone to give you back what you’ve already been putting out, or that you’re in pain, miserable with fleeting highs... that’s a poor result. It’s not one that you need to correct – it’s one you need to opt out of.

This means that there must be proportionate relationship to back up my feelings or the deal is off. This put a stop to all Betting On Potential, being immersed in denying, rationalising, and minimising, and basically compensating for the type of effort that no-one should ever make up the shortfall for. If they’ve walked and moved on or are failing to to give me a mutually fulfilling relationship, I’m not going to fight for something that’s broken by its lack of mutuality.

If they’re not loving you back and reflecting it into a mutually fulfilling loving relationship, it’s time to step.

Loving someone alone or in an imbalanced, unsatisfying, often somewhat ambiguous setting is beneath you. Mutual relationships take two and you can’tmake someone love you. You’ve tried and it doesn’t work, so don’t continue to force it.

Separate out what you think, feel, see, and do. How much of this is evidentially similar to what they claim to think, feel, see, and do? Remember that love, even when it’s healthy doesn’t make you Siamese twins or Mystic Meg. You can only legislate for you. Love doesn’t create an IOU hence you don’t have to feel like you’re owed if you only get into and stay in this when it’s mutual.

You’re better than this. Pain is not love, it’s pain. Love does not sell you short.


From www.baggagereclaim.co.uk

It's 4 o'clock in the morning....

Yup. I know something's on my mind and well, that I'm not listening to myself when I can't sleep. the manifestation of "anxiety" or that "weird" feeling that I get is always the culprit. It's not a racing thought sort of thing...it's the thing that happens when my soul wants to go in one direction and my ego finds enough reasons to stay in the same place. Perhaps that's where the anxiety stems from - the struggle between my inner truth and my outer ego. I've been here before but it's different this time. I have experience under my belt...and I get it.

Every time you let someone into your life - I feel it's for a reason. There's karma you have to work out through the relationship...whether it be friendship, working together, romance, family...ect. I finally understand where my relationship "anxiety" or "preoccupation" stems from. It's really a subconscious thing. I'm sure most people would just ignore it or compartimentalize it or whatever. For me, it weighs heavily until I can figure it out, bring the emotion it bears into the light, deal with it, and move on. It's the desire for self-understanding...the desire to work through that karma in order to move on to the next level of Self. This anxiety-type feeling or whatever you want to call it -it's a tough thing to define-is at the subconscious level. It's deeply rooted and probably stems from infancy. For many years, I wanted to always blame myself for feeling like this...why couldn't I just be okay? What is this painful feeling? Why can't I just not have emotions? It's like I attempted to just shut off this instinctual reaction. I guess now that I understand why and where this is coming from, my question is how do I deal with this? Can you change this attachment? Or at least, how do I work with it?

I think it's about knowing how you want to feel. It's one thing to be okay on your own but we all desire relationships, especially romantical ones. The energy of someone else will always enmesh with your own and I think it's about finding the energy that compliments rather than irritates your own. The funny thing is, most people end up in relationships of irritational energy and attachment. Opposites attract. However, we often don't feel that irritation until after we're already invested and attached. It's such a peculiar phenomenon. I think for me, the question is how do I end that pattern?

I recently listened to something on the internet that talked about manifestation. It's has to do with changing those accumulated pattern of thoughts by replacing them with how you want to feel and what you do want...then imagining that you already have it deep down at the soul level. In a way, I guess it's like being the person you would want in your life and doing the things that honor you. It's clarifying those feelings to a tee and understanding that you CAN get it and taking action about it on a soul level. (Kind of like the Secret, I suppose.) The biggest difference is the fact that you have to truly feel how you want to feel consistently instead of just telling the universe what you think you want or need. It's looking back in your memories for a time when you felt that way and rekindling that feeling into the present....knowing that it's always been there and can be there with someone else.

The meaning of life.

I have heard Paul Lowe say that one's aim should be happiness. By this, I am sure that he means not merely the feeling of relief that things are going OK right now, but rather a deep contentment with life, no matter what it brings.

I see the ultimate aim as one of freedom, where one responds authentically to each and every moment, where one puts no limits on oneself, where one does not define oneself in any terms whatsoever.

In fact the word ‘freedom' is misleading, for it suggests the possibility of choice, whereas when one is being fully authentic, one paradoxically has no freedom to choose what to do or how to be – one just is. 

Got a problem?

90% of so-called problems are created by the mind, and are therefore not really problems at all; 9% of problems are due to external situations, and again are not really problems – at least, they are not psychological problems. Finally, the remaining 1% of problems are in fact intractable mysteries, and mysteries are things to be explored, not things to flee from.

These mysteries are ultimately what makes life worth living.

Over-analysis :)

Fear and desire come from the same space. I only use the mind when I'm afraid. All desires express fear. Everything we do with the mind is an expression of fear – it works from the original program: the fear of not surviving, the desire to survive. A desire is a fear – a fear is a desire. So every time I have a desire, I can ask: “What am I afraid of?”, and behind this is the original fear.

The mind (which is a defense system) can be compared to an army. An army exists because of fear: the fear of losing a war, which is the desire to win. On a day when everything goes badly in a war, one feels depressed. On a day when everything goes well, one feels good. Thus feelings are just battle reports. Any attempt to get information – the intelligence branch – is part of the defense system. All thoughts are part of this defense system, gathering data on potential enemies and perhaps some useful allies.

Thoughts are not necessary for survival. Needs are so simple to meet. The mind is a worry machine. Every time it moves (i.e. when I think), I am worried – about survival. Behind all emotions is fear. Happiness means “I'm not so afraid right now.”

Let it be the four-year-old in you that does the thinking, the worrying, the fearing, and let it be there and accept it and remember that it is worried about survival. There is no need to fight it, no need to try to stop it – in fact, this is counterproductive. Just bring it up to date with reality. You don't even have to know what it is worrying about – remind it that it is worrying about survival and that survival is no longer a problem. Just relax.

On beliefs.

Beliefs are not facts. Beliefs are ideas passed on by other people. Beliefs are projections from the past into the future. Beliefs take one away from reality. Living by one's beliefs is to live in unhappiness; living by one's beliefs is not living at all.

Perhaps I believe that I am not a very good person. Perhaps I can prove to myself and others that I am worthy, or better than others, by working really hard and achieving things. Perhaps my achievements will make others look up to me.

But do any of these beliefs make me happy? Or are they burdens that I carry around with me, without ever finding out whether they are valid?

Do not confuse belief with knowing. If you know something to be true, you do not believe in it - you know it. If you have any beliefs about yourself, this means that you do not know.

Don't just believe what people tell you, especially when they tell you things about yourself. They will almost certainly be wrong. Instead, find out for yourself. Once you are an authority on yourself, you will not swallow the rubbish that some people want to force on you.

LIFE philosphy.

All thinking is an effort to avoid facing what is. (J. Krishnamurti, First & Last Freedom)

Emotion analogy.

...we perceive a feeling in much the same fashion as we perceive a tree: something affects a nerve ending near the surface of the body, which causes a series of electrochemical reactions to travel up the nerve pathway to the brain, where a picture of a tree or the sensation of a feeling mysteriously appears in consciousness. When we're talking about an emotion type of feeling, some stimulus had produced a reaction that may then be felt as located in some area of the body, but again the feeling appears mysteriously in consciousness. In any case, since they're observable, we're not our feelings.

Meditation..again.

To find what we're looking for, which could also be described as ultimate certainty about what we are, we cannot rely on any external authority, no matter how much value we place on it. We must become our own authority. When we have peeled away the outer layers of what we once believed ourselves to be and are left with a belief in "this individual consciousness," we seem to come up against an impenetrable barrier.

The basic operation during meditation is one of looking.

Finding the real self is looking until what's looking is known.

The good, the bad, my 20's.

I turn 30 tomorrow. It's almost one of those years you have to fully write out - thirty. Thirrrrty. The end of one life chapter; the culmination of lessons learned on the way to true adulthood. I read once that the pathway to true adulthood begins not at 18 but at thirty. It's the journey through your 20's that paves the way for who you will become - it's when many of life's hardest lessons are learned. Perhaps I'm taking it all way too seriously. That's what any non-spiritual or boring or non-self-actualized person would think. Being overly serious about life in general has been something I've grappled with over the years. The introspective part of my soul, however, knows it's just time to sit back and think about what it all means. I can't let this milestone pass me by without reflection and trying to just figure out, in a general sort of way, what it all meant.

I've had some of the best years of my life within the last decade and some of the worst.  I always said my 20's felt like an extended adolescence...but with much more responsibility and bills. I've always been the "late-bloomer" of my group and I guess in a way I still am. It's taken me ten years to truly figure out who I am, to be able to stand on my own two feet as a truly strong, independent and centered person. I've always been good at faking it - my esoteric ways made everyone think I was this take-no-shit and show-no-emotion type of person. I was weak inside though for such a long time - looking back I understand I had to go through what I went through in order to have the experiences that would re-shape my perception of Self and instill me with the true meaning of strength. (The turning point in of my 20's came the day I broke up with my ex-fiancee - it was the catalyst into adulthood. I will never, ever forget that whole period and I wouldn't wish what I felt on even my worst enemy. Not that I really have any, but I digress.) It's not about what you do in the external realm of the world - it's how you handle life within yourself. It's taking the time to delve deep into the recesses of your soul that may frighten you or make you uncomfortable - it's holding yourself up to the mirror of emotions, ingrained thoughts, past events and habitual reactions that lie dormant. However, the irony of such dormancy is how those things gnaw at you until you bring them forth, accept them, deal with them and heal.

Perfectionism.
People-pleasing.
Ignoring my emotions.
Fear of rejection.
Not knowing / expressing my boundaries and values.
Emotionally distant relationship with my father.
Volatile relationship with my mother.
Searching for "happiness" through a relationship or by being perfect.
Eating disorder.
Overly-critical.
Broken engagement.

These are the themes that have interwoven themselves throughout my life. They all relate to one another and I accept them for what they are. I can honestly say that I've always felt an unease in myself - like the world's always been on my shoulders, like I was walking around in this state of confusion - an unrested soul. It's easy to just point the figure at something and blame that for the circumstances in your life. But what does that get you? If there is one thing I learned that changed my perspective on everything - it's that you can only control yourself. It seems so simple yet so many of us what to control everything. We want to shape people into who we think they should be, we want life to always do for us what we want. We will only burn out more of ourselves by thinking in that manner.

Many shitty things happened to me along the way and changed my life forever. During those stark times, I thought I'd never leave that place. You couldn't pay me enough to go back. I see now that life can work in a twisted way but it's all for a reason. Those times ignited the things I had to heal within me. They helped me start my journey towards re-building myself as a mature woman.Over the last few years, I wrote, and read, and talked, and thought and analyzed the parts of me that hurt.  I made the effort to isolate myself from the worldly things that detract us from the spirit and I took responsibility for my misplaced ideas and emotions. Like pieces of a puzzle, they were always within me to put together. I allowed myself to cry a lot. I made peace with my parents. I learned to like hanging out by myself. I "broke up" with people in my life who weren't any good for me. I forgave the boys who broke my heart. I got a Master's Degree. I allowed myself to be single for a long time. I learned to rely on myself for everything.

By no means am I completely done, but I'm accomplished. I feel like a flame is burning within me now - it's my flame of self-acceptance and understanding. I get a lot of flack for still being single but I truly feel "married" already - to myself. I don't truly think you can ever be happy with someone else or content in any realm of life without that feeling. It's not a selfish thing but it's an authentic thing. It's about understanding your boundaries and values and always upholding them in any life situation. It's about not caring what other people think or do - you can't control that. It's about truly living from who you are within and not getting tied up with the ego that constantly nags at you with it's negative messages. It's the complete surrender to life - knowing that at the end of the day you may desire certain things but you don't truly NEED anything more than yourself. Contentment.

Here's to a new chapter - the writing may be the same but the style...completely different.

:)

Truthfulness.

The muddled mentality that mistakes the unreal for the Real
is the genesis of woeful births.

For those of undimmed perception, free from delusion,
darkness departs and rapture rushes in.

Heaven is nearer than Earth for those who
dispel all doubt and know the Truth.

All knowledge acquired through the five senses is worthless
to those without knowledge of Truth.

In everything of every kind whatsoever,
wisdom perceives Truth in that thing.

Those who find the highest Reality here and now
follow a path which never comes back to this world.

Having thought profoundly and realized fully That which is,
one need never think of being born again.

Wisdom is that rare realization of Perfection's True Being,
which banishes forever the folly of rebirth.

He who clings to life's true support clings not to lesser things.
Sorrows, which destroy by clinging, no longer cling to him.

Desire, delusion and indignation--annihilation of these
three terms is the termination of torment.

Balance

Sometimes what we experience is just nature's way of using it's check and balance system. You either surrender and get better or fight it and elongate the consequences.

Story of my life...

I think it’s time to explore the possibility, that somewhere deep down inside, women like this are afraid of commitment. There is something that holds this woman back, ebbs into her subconscious and allows her to place herself with people and in situations that do not lead to commitment. When it all goes wrong, these women get to be upset, be miserable and nod their heads in a sure-fire agreement that men are a pain in the arse, unavailable and that they’ll never find happiness. It gives them permission to be right and they don’t ever have to properly address the reason why they aren’t getting commitment and how they could ultimately end up alone, or attached and unhappy. Because remember ladies, just because you ‘have’ the guy, it doesn’t make you committed. You could be just as miserable as you would be if you were single! Making a semblance of commitment with a guy who doesn’t seem to know his arse from his elbow with your relationship is a one sided thing and a guaranteed trip to Misery City.

Committing to someone in the true sense of commitment is a very scary thought for most people, but plenty of people do it, despite all the tales of divorce and heartbreak. Giving yourself entirely to someone and trusting them with your heart, your feelings and essentially your life is a bloody scary thing! If we have witnessed examples of it all going tits up with someone close to us, say at a very young age, or even took the risk once of letting it all hang out only for it to end in tears, something internally in the back of the mind, or for some people at the forefront of their mind, decides that they should protect themselves from these situations. Like damage control.

The fact of the matter is that if a woman met a guy that was half way decent, that truly cared about her and wanted to have a proper relationship with her, that would scupper that secret fear of commitment because she’d have to make the effort and put herself at risk. An unavailable guy (even if he is decent) removes that fear because ultimately, deep down we all know the way the story goes. 

From the most kick ass website: http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk

Reaction to our feelings

When you die, you are freed from your senses. While you are living, you are caught up in your senses and reacting to memories of things you wish you had or had not done. Many people live in a constant state of overlapping reactions. They try to find peace of mind on the outside, externally. Reactions are caused by what we have placed in the subconscious mind that we have not fully understood. Reactions are packed away in the subconscious mind, influencing our everyday life, attracting our successes and failures to us. We keep meeting blocks because of our reactions in the subconscious mind that we set up in the past. Overcome these reactions, and opportunities will open up and we will begin to succeed. Reaction is a natural thing, either positive or negative. If we are reacting in a negative way, that is because of lack of understanding; if in a positive way, that gives us more understanding, and we become our own teacher or psychologist. 

If you do not understand your reaction to something, wait until it subsides emotionally, so you will not be upset, then try to understand it by writing about it in a quiet moment. Then burn the paper in an inauspicious fire, such as in a garbage can. This vasana daha tantric process releases or detaches the emotion from the memory. This means that the memory of the experience no longer harbors the emotion that was previously attached to it and vibrating twenty-four hours a day. You will still have the memory, but without a reaction or emotional charge attached to it.

There are many individuals who get their security from their reactions, who make themselves disappointed and keep themselves in a constant state of emotional vibration. Peace of mind is not a blank state. It is not having emotion attached to the memory patterns within the subconscious. These memory patterns, once freed from emotion, remain at peace, and then pure contentment resides through the entire mind. A negative reaction can be likened to a fog over the city. You cannot see clearly because of the fog.

When we react to something, how long does it take before it subsides? How can we guide our lives so as to have only positive reactions? We have to awaken a certain control over our nature. We have to anticipate what is going to happen to us. Whether we admit it or not, we attract everything that happens to us. What we react to, and what we have reacted to in the past, we will create in our future. If we face experience with understanding, we will free ourselves from recreating past unpleasant experiences. Experience is man's greatest chain. It holds him in a certain pattern. The chains of experience get stronger and stronger until man enters spiritual life through the realms of understanding. Every man must decide whether he wants to be caged in by experience or be freed by understanding the cause of the experience.

A negative reaction may have been set up in the mind many years ago. How long does it take to subside? In a person with some understanding, the initial reaction will subside in a few hours, but it takes five to seven days before it subsides enough for him to get a complete understanding. The average man reacts to something every day. That's what makes him average. A reaction today, another one tomorrow, another one the day after tomorrow, then those reactions are overlapping. To stop these overlapping reactions, we have to sit down and face everything that we have created for ourselves in the past and control our circumstances until the reaction subsides.

Be on your guard. Control your circumstances and your life. Guard your weak points with understanding, and don't allow yourself to be put into a position where you will react. Then you can become fully conscious of what is within you and within your fellow man.

Late bloomin'

Out of all the zodiacal signs, Virgo and Capricorn are considered by astrologers to be late bloomers. One astrological writer believes that Saturn in Virgo probably spends too much time and energy on seemingly minute and ultimately insignificant details. I would see it in a different light, and I feel any time spent laboriously on the details is not time wasted, and it helps to perfect the craft. Images of Virgo will include anyone involved in a craft, or some sort of technical achievement. However, I must ask the question: What do people mean by late bloomers? Is it about finding our true calling later in life? Is it getting married when we are 40? Did we miss the parade passing by? To help me with the definition of a “Late Bloomer” I looked up the meaning of the term on Wikipedia:

A late bloomer is a person whose talents or capabilities are not visible to others until later than usual. The term is used metaphorically to describe a child or adolescent who develops more slowly than others in their age group, but eventually catches up and in some cases overtakes their peers, or an adult whose talent or genius in a particular field only appears later in life than is normal - in some cases only in old age.

It’s often found that late bloomers are kind of bookish, with their heads buried in their work. I wouldn’t necessarily call Virgo’s late bloomers, but they don’t show off their gifts and there is a quiet humility which exists in them. It’s difficult to pin down what is meant by late bloomer. Development in any area of life happens when an individual is ready. Whether it’s the flowering potential of new writing skills, marriage, or finding a new vocation in life. Anyone can become a late bloomer, and there is always room for more growth in our lives.


Astrologically Virgo’s are discriminating, and they are categorists and like to know where everything fits by labelling, sorting, and classifying it. Virgo is ruled by Mercury and the accumulation of knowledge is important. Virgo’s acquisition of knowledge and skills ensures that time is not wasted, and that the results are useful for others. 


Virgo’s are realists and they want to live a useful life, and they can put aside the things in life which are not considered to be practical. Liz Greene says that Virgo can throw away romance, and tragically life is full work and drudgery. In Virgo’s world everything is carefully studied; analysed and improved, and some would say that this kind of saps the enjoyment out of life.

The more introverted Virgo suffers from shyness and lack of social ease and confidence. A sense of inadequacy can create an inferiority complex, but they also have an intense need for privacy, and being opposite to the boundlessness of Pisces, they hate their own boundaries being violated. However, some Virgo people who have the sign emphasised in their charts may find that their strong need for privacy leads to isolation. In this case, it could be believed that Virgo creates its own sense of separation through their fear of others invading their boundaries. 

Virgo also needs security, and this prevents them from taking risks in life. Therefore they may put themselves in limiting situations, and prefer the safety of a 9-5 daily routine. Guaranteeing their future is a more practical option for all earth signs. The stage which Virgo represents in the sequence of the zodiac is that of the completion of the individual. In Latin the word Virgo means unmarried or self-possessed. Virgo is not a dependent sign, they are learning about self-sufficiency, and belong to no one. The symbol for Virgo is the Maiden or Virgin, and she is endowed with the gifts of womanhood and she can remain independent and whole.


Virgo represents the time for harvest when the entire crop is cut and gathered after it has matured. Harvesting is the most labour intensive activity of the season. The myth of Demeter and Persephone has always been connected with Virgo but it also has its Scorpio undertones. At one time it was believed that Virgo and Scorpio were once joined, because the sign Libra had not been introduced to the zodiac. The Persephone myth involves the transformation of a young maiden into a wiser, more mature individual by the fruition of the harvest. 


Sometimes it is necessary for Virgo on their journey to becoming whole, to live alone for some time. Virgo is, after all, represented by the Hermit in the Tarot Card spread. The Hermit is the card of introspection, analysis and study. In a reading the card signifies that it is not a good time for socializing, and during this time in solitude, one learns wisdom. The Hermit’s time of withdrawal helps them to develop a firm sense of their identity and to grow into an individual who is integrated within himself. There is a lot of inner work that Virgo needs to do, and in some sense they are always preparing for something. 


Jungian astrologer Arthur Dion phrases Virgo’s penchant for detail in a powerful way. By focusing on a small flaw Virgo can miss out on the whole picture. 

They are like the woman who wanted to discover the secret of beauty by plucking the petals from the rose, until of course there was no rose left to look at.

It could be Virgo’s all work and no play attitude which means that they miss out on some of the more spontaneous fun to be had in youth. In later life, there may be that feeling that they could have experienced a whole lot more, but other indicators in the natal chart may overcome the natural urge for solitude. Nevertheless, it may simply be part of Virgo’s journey to do the essential inner work. When these people are ready to give themselves, they do it by choice and not by a sense of obligation. Virgo’s have integrity and always stay true to themselves, but they might need to recognize that they will need frequent intervals in which to be alone. Virgo can be considered the quiet beauty of the zodiac, they may not be showy, over-colourful or out there like some of the other signs, but they possess an incredible wisdom and down to earth practicality.

Lean on you.

How can we stabilize the path on those days when it's just plain rough? The first thing to do on the path is to change our perspective of looking at life. Initially, as we come onto the inner path, we look at the map of the journey--we read books. A book is a map. We then make up our mind whether or not we want to make a change in our lifestyle and our perspective. Once we decide that we do wish to go on, a good way to begin is to reprogram the clay-like subconscious mind. Reprogram the negative habit patterns by firmly believing that you're really all right. 

The second thing to accomplish is to learn to lean on your own spine. Everyone nowadays wants to lean on someone else. We lean on our families until they push us out into the world. Then we lean on our friends until they can't help us anymore. But still we keep on leaning. Then we lean on our therapist until we run out of money. This attitude of leaning on another is not the foundation needed for the delicate states of deep meditation to be sustained. 

We have to lean on our own spine. But first we have to claim our spiritual heritage and feel "I'm all right, right now." By saying this and believing it, we pull the energies in just a little and become centered again. When we ask ourselves point blank, "Am I all right, right now?" we have to come up with a "Yes." Lean on your own spine. Feel the power in the spine. Feel the energy in the spine. The energy in the spine is not concerned with any fear or worry or doubt--not at all. It is a pure, powerful, blissful energy. Lean on it, and you will go crashing through into inner states of meditation. Things in the world will also work out right for you. You will be in the flow of life. You will have perfect timing. Beautiful things will begin to happen to you in the exterior world. Opportunities will open up for you where there were no opportunities before. People will become nice to you who ordinarily would not. All this and more begins to happen because mentally you are leaning on yourself, and people in general like you to do this. 

Don't lean on a philosophy. Don't lean on a guru. Don't lean on a teacher. Lean on your own spine and that power within it. Then the guru can be some help to you, for you will obey his directions when he speaks. The philosophy begins to come alive in you, for you can complement it with your own inner knowing. 

Friendship.

What is as difficult to secure as friendship? 

And what greater security is there against foes?

With wise men, friendship waxes like the crescent moon; 

with fools, it wanes as surely as the full moon must.

The bonds that good men share are like good bound books, 

revealing new enchantments at each new encounter.

What matters in making friends is not merrymaking, 

but a stern rebuking when friends go astray.

It is not constant meeting and companionship, 

but shared sensibilities that confer the alliance of friendship.

A smiling face is no sure sign of friendship. 

Friendship is found deep within a smiling heart.

To divert a man from wrong, direct him toward right 

and share his sorrow in misfortune is comradeship.

As swiftly as the hand moves to seize a slipping garment, 

friendship acts to assuage a friend's distress.

Where does Friendship hold her court? It is where friends 

find constant support in every possible circumstance.

To boast, "He means so much to me, and I to him," 

merely belittles a friendship.