This one's for the girls...

THE FOUR CRITICAL KEYS TO LOVE

By Carol Allen (My favorite astrologist / relationship coach)

1. He must be relationship-oriented.

This is THE MOST IMPORTANT KEY. You must find a man that's "relationship material." He must be WANTING a relationship, and available for one, and know how to do them in the first place. Relationship-oriented men are obvious. They're usually in relationships! They like women. They like their mothers (or at least have forgiven her...). They have friends. They get along with people at work. They're philosophical about their exes - or friends with them still! (Which, while it may annoy you, is a GOOD SIGN.) Men who are not relationship-oriented are the opposite of this. They're usually NOT in relationships. And if they are, they're SHORT and end badly. They're not close to their families - or they're WAY TOO close to their families...They whine about their friends, or they have lots of drama with their friends, they hate everybody at work, or they spend most of their time alone. They HATE their exes, or call them "psycho." And this is the way they were LONG BEFORE they met you, and it's how they'll be LONG AFTER you're gone. You cannot turn a man who is not good at relationships or healthy enough emotionally to be in them... into a man who is. You don't have enough fairy dust up your sleeve. Better women have tried and failed, and failed some more...Don't tell yourself that HUGE LIE women tell themselves - "Once he sees how GREAT we are together, he'll WANT a relationship and he'll CHANGE."

2. It must be time for love.

Amazingly, astrology can reveal when you're in a "season of love" and when you're NOT. And when you're not, it doesn't matter how hard you try, or who you meet. You could hire the best matchmaker in the world, and be on every Internet dating site there is, and you wouldn't find HIM. Because to find the ONE it has to be TIME. Now, when it IS time, it's easy. Just as flowers can't grow when the ground is frozen and there's snow on top of them, but they can and effortlessly DO when the snow has melted and the conditions are right - there's nothing you have to DO once the conditions are right. He'll find you, and you'll find him, and that will be that. So many women come to me just MYSTIFIED at how much effort they're making to meet men, and at how badly it's going. Love isn't a "number's game" as so many people say. When it isn't time, it's not about numbers. It's about WAITING for when it is time, and focusing on having the best life possible in the meantime, so you'll be as attractive and ready for a great man when it IS time. This isn't just astrological, by the way. Studies show that a whopping FIFTY PERCENT of men getting married report that they COULD have just as easily married someone else from their past and been just as happy with her - but that THE TIMING WASN'T RIGHT - a move, a job change, a family drama, etc. GOT IN THE WAY and ended that other relationship. And that part of why they're marrying the woman they're marrying, is that THE TIMING FEELS RIGHT. It's such a relief to know this isn't your fault, you're not doing anything wrong, and you shouldn't "try harder" or "make more effort." You just have to wait...

3. He has to be the kind of person you're looking for, and you have to be the kind of person he's looking for.

Okay - so here's what that means...You can meet a great guy. He can be a "relationship guy." It can be a good time in both of your lives for a relationship - you're not involved with anyone else, you have the room in your schedules, you both want a relationship, etc. But you have to WANT the same kind of life. Or it won't work...Think about it.One of the biggest reasons couples break up is when one of them wants children and the other one doesn't. Or - one of them wants to live in the city and the other one wants to live in the country. One of you might be of a religion that requires you marry someone ELSE of that religion. But - you guessed it - you're not the same religion, and the non-religious person doesn't want to convert. So you have to be the kind of person he's looking for, and he has to be the kind of person you're looking for. And if you're not - then RUN, RUN, RUN. You're not going to make a nice, quiet chess player into a party animal. Or a man who hates snow into one who wants to go skiing every weekend in the wintertime. Or a man who doesn't care about material things and isn't very ambitious into one who wants to build an empire for you. If you want an empire - go find an emperor. Or build one yourself. So get clear on the kind of life you want and the kind of guy you'll need to have that life, and then go find him - and RESIST all others...

4. You have to be astrologically compatible.

Okay, so I started off by making this sound like it's not that big of a deal. Well, IT IS. It's just that it's not THE ONLY deal. But here's the thing - if you're not compatible then nothing else will matter. If you don't feel good around him, if you can't talk and have him understand what you're saying, if you don't have a foundation of friendship and healthy attraction for each other - you WON'T be happy no matter how much else is working for you...No matter what a great guy he is. No matter how much you both may want a relationship. No matter how much you both want the same things in life. It's one of the CRITICAL KEYS to love - so it's CRITICAL. As in - if it ain't happening, it's PARTY OVER. So please don't work too hard in a relationship. You're working too hard if your guy never sees your side, or invalidates your feelings all the time, or thinks you shouldn't want what you want. Believe it or not - all of that can be seen and more in the most amazing compatibility technique from the system of astrology of India - and it's been used forever to arrange marriages because it's that good.

Okay, so I said there are four critical keys to love. I lied. There are FIVE. The first four can be seen in the stars. The fifth cannot. But it's every bit as important - if not more so. And, again, since it's critical, without this last thing, you can't be successful for long EVEN if you have ALL of the other four. What could it possibly be that can ruin a relationship with ALL the other keys? One with a good man who wants what you want, who is in the right timing, who you are compatible with - how can ANYTHING go wrong with all of that? Well, imagine if that man started drinking too much. Or working too much.Or if he fell for someone else... It happens. All the time. Two good people get together and they have a good thing for a while - even maybe a LONG while - and then one of them starts doing something to HARM or NEGLECT the relationship. And all that other good stuff goes OUT the window.

In a nutshell - the fifth critical key is to have GOOD RELATIONSHIP SKILLS.

Now, this can sound like it's the same as #1. If a guy is a relationship-oriented guy, then you'd think he'd have good relationship skills - right? Not always. And you might get along great with your family and be everyone's best friend, but you might not have good relating skills when it comes to a CLOSE, PERSONAL, INTIMATE, PRIMARY relationship. Most people don't. Think about it - we're not taught this stuff in school. We have no good role models in the media. Over half of us have parents that divorced. Why should we have a clue how to do relationships? I'm constantly amazed at how little most healthy, smart, attractive, otherwise together people know when it comes to relating. It's why I became a relationship coach on top of an astrologer - time after time giving readings wasn't the thing that people needed - and it didn't really help them. They were trying to find the reason for their miserable love lives, trying to "blame the stars" for their latest breakup, or lack of closeness with their partner - when usually it was that they didn't understand how to communicate, or how to ask for what they wanted, or how to inspire their partner to show up for them... And once they learned THAT stuff - they couldn't believe how much their relationships improved, and how much they were able to get "back that spark..." So, if you've lost your spark with the one you love, or if he USED to seem like your dream man but now you're not so sure, or if he's withdrawn from you and not as enthusiastic as you'd like, then your relationship skills need an upgrade.

You can have EVERYTHING you long for in love - but only if you have ALL FIVE of the keys I've just described. Please don't compromise or settle for anything less. It won't make you happy and it won't last.