"We may never be a success according to our parents or societies dysfunctional definition of success - but that is because our heart and soul do not resonate with those definitions, so that kind of success would be a betrayal of ourselves. We need to consciously change our definitions so that we can stop judging ourselves against someone else's screwed up value system."


: ) My life perspective that I finally read in words

How's your Child?

"We are set up to be emotionally dysfunctional by our role models, both parental and societal.  We are taught to repress and distort our own emotional process.  We are trained to be emotionally dishonest when we are children. This emotional repression and dishonesty causes society to be emotionally dysfunctional.  Additionally, urban based civilization has completely disregarded natural laws and natural cycles such as the human developmental process.  There is no integration into our culture of the natural human developmental process. As just one blatant example of this, consider how most so called primitive or aboriginal societies react to the onset of puberty.  When a girl starts menstruating, ceremonies are held to celebrate her womanhood - to honor her coming into her power, to honor her miraculous gift of being able to conceive.  Boys go through training and initiation rites to help them make the transition from boyhood to manhood.  Look at what we have in our society: junior high school - a bunch of scared, insecure kids who torture each other out of their confusion and fear, and join gangs to try to find an identity. This lack of integration of the natural human growth process causes trauma.  At each stage of the developmental process we were traumatized because of the emotionally repressive, Spiritually hostile environment into which we were born.  We went into the next stage incomplete and then were re-traumatized, were wounded again."

For all of the so called progress of our modern societies, we still are far behind most aboriginal cultures in terms of respect for individual rights and dignity in some kind of balance with the good of the whole.  (I am speaking here of tribal aboriginal societies - not urbanized ones.)  Nowhere is this more evident in terms of our relationship to our children. Modern civilizations - both Eastern and Western - are no more than a generation or two removed from the belief that children were property.  This, of course, goes hand in hand with the belief that women were property.  The idea that children have rights, individuality, and dignity is relatively new in modern society.  The predominant and underlying belief, as it has been manifested in the treatment of children, has been that children are extensions of, and tools to be used by, their parents.

A very telling insight into the basic beliefs underlying Western attitudes towards children is shared by inner child pioneer Alice Miller in her book "The Drama of The Gifted Child".  She shares how the 19th Century German Philosophers who laid the groundwork for modern psychology, emphasized the importance of stamping out a child's "exuberance."  In other words, a child's spirit must be crushed in order to control them. Children are to be seen and not heard.  Spare the rod and spoil the child. It is only in very recent history, that our society has even recognized child abuse as a crime instead of an inherent right of the parent.  The concept of healthy parenting as a skill to be learned is very new in society.

Any society that does not respect and honor individual human dignity, is going to be a society that does not meet the essential needs of it's members.  Patriarchal societies, that demean and degrade women and children, are dysfunctional in their essence. We form our core relationship with our self and with life - and of course with other people - in early childhood in reaction to the messages we get from the way we are treated and the role modeling of the other people in our lives.  We then have no training or initiation ceremonies, no culturally approved grieving process, to help us let go of the old programming and learn a different relationship with our self and life.  So, we build upon the foundation laid in early childhood.

As adults, we react to the programming of our childhood. To contend that our childhood emotional wounds have not affected our adult lives is ridiculous.  To think that our early programming has not influenced the way we have lived is to be in denial to an extreme. Because societies standards for what constitutes success are dysfunctional, many people can be pointed out who "have risen above" their past to be a success.  It is those people, who are supposedly successful, that are running the world.  How good a job do you think they are doing?

It is our world leaders, reacting out of the fear and insecurity of their inner children, and the dysfunctional belief systems underlying civilization, who give us war and poverty, billionaires and homelessness.

"Work for World Peace, Heal Your Inner Child."  I did have these bumper stickers printed when I published my book.  It is, I believe, an essential Truth.  We will never have world peace, or a civilized society which is based upon respect and dignity - to say nothing of Love - unless we can heal our relationships with ourselves enough to learn to Love and respect our self.

We cannot Love our neighbor as our self, as long as we are judging and comparing our self to them in order to feel good about our self.  We cannot have a society that meets the essential emotional and spiritual needs of it's members as long as we are reacting to life in alignment with rules of interaction that we learned in junior high school.

We are all connected - not separate.  We all have worth and deserved to be treated with dignity and respect - instead of earning societies version of worth by stepping on and over our fellow humans, to say nothing of destroying the planet we live on. It is through healing our inner child wounds that we can learn to respect and Love our self so that we can know how to treat others with respect and Love.  It is through healing our inner children that we can save our planet and evolve into a society that does meet the essential needs of it's members.

Inner child healing is not some fad or pop psychology.  Inner child healing is the only way to empower ourselves to stop living life in reaction to the past.  We have been ignoring history and repeating it for centuries.  If we are going to have a chance to reverse the self destructive patterns of human kind, it is going to come from individuals healing self.  By healing our inner child wounds, we can change the world.

Sad love songs.

I can finally listen to them and not feel miserable and depressed and lonely and heartbroken. They are comforting now, hauntingly beautiful and peaceful.

Astrology is....

Astrology is not just a subject; it's an activity. Consequently, you don't study it - you do it.

Astrology is an activity based on the principle of Unus Mundus - the Universe as Unity. Everything - from atom to galaxy - is rooted in the same universal and all-pervasive reality. And this reality reveals itself in the purposeful, ordered and meaningful processes of nature, as well as in the deepest recesses of the human mind and spirit. 'As above - so below'. Anything happening in one part of the system gets mirrored in a self-similar way everywhere else.

Quantum Physics tells us that the very act of observing something changes it. And the Butterfly Effect of Chaos Theory shows how even the tiniest flap of a wing can eventually produce a hurricane. Upon examining my own life, I can see how the slightest shifts of direction have led me down some very divergent paths and presented me with infinitely strange and beautiful experiences. But the most satisfying and successful of these experiences have come when I was going with the flow of time and determinism.

The Universe, being the accommodating creature that she is, will provide confirmation of almost any paradigm we adopt. Mental events (perception) and acts of free will carry with them pure information which is transmitted instantly throughout the material world. To this extent, we live in an observer-created reality. Something out there (the Great Organizing Dynamic, as some have called it) responds to what we believe about ourselves and our world. From this standpoint, you are a channel, a vehicle, an agency, an instrument, a representative. And your birth chart may best be described as an output program - an indication of what should be flowing into manifestation through you. Although I might speak of 'my' horoscope, in a very practical sense, it does not belong to me - rather I belong to it. As do all the other entities, animate and inanimate, that came into being at about the same time and place. Cosmic Powers, if indeed there are such things, appear to use me and what I have to offer, and not the other way 'round.

You will not get the best out of your birth chart unless you become a go-between worthy of relaying the best. Concentrate first on construction and creativity, and use astrology to define the possibilities as you go along. In the fractal logic of astrology, each planet, sign and house is a self-similar unity complete with its own rewards. For example, you may have transiting Jupiter conjunct your natal Sun. The usual interpretation of this aspect is one of increased vitality, luck and optimism. In reality however this may or may not happen, because the promise of a Jupiter-Sun contact cannot happen without the proper conditions first being in place. And only you can put them there. By adopting an out-going attitude, by exploring new dimensions, by playing with ideas rather than holding rigidly to one static model, you put yourself into the Jupiter mode. By opening up to the Universe in this way, you actually invite luck into your life, and create a positive feedback loop of openness and optimism, which attracts more of the same.

Calculate your own chart:

http://www.chaosastrology.net/freeastrologyreports.cfm

http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/life-lessons-the-danger-of-making-assumptions-about-people-and-relationships/

An enlightening article about our assumptions a.k.a. "but he/she JUST should have KNOWN....." Um, no.

Cottleston Pie

From The Tao of Pooh by Benjamin Hoff

"As we have likely recognized by now, no two snowflakes, trees or animals are alike. No two people are the same, either. Everything has its own Inner Nature. Unlike other forms of life, though, people are easily led away from what's right for them, because people have Brain, and Brain can be fooled. Inner Nature, when relied on, cannot be fooled. But many people do not look at it or listen to it, and consequently do not understand themselves very much. Having little understanding of themselves, they have little respect for themselves, and are therefore easily influenced by others.

The Way of Self-Reliance starts with recognizing who we are, what we've got to work with, and what works best for us."

"How can you get very far,

If you don't know Who You Are?

How can you do what you ought,

If you don't know What You've Got?

And if you don't know Which To Do

Of all the things in front of you,

Then what you'll have when you are through

Is just a mess without a clue

Of all the best that can come true

If you know What and Which and Who."

"Sooner or later we're bound to discover some things about ourselves that we don't like. Do we want to get rid of them completely, change them into other things, or use them in beneficial ways...while pounding on the piano keys may produce noise, removing them doesn't exactly further the creation of music."

About the past...

"Maybe I was just addicted to the exquisite pain of wanting a man so unavailable...."

E and I.

Ego and Intuition - how do I know what I am hearing?

1. Intuition is not wishy-washy

When your intuition provides you with advice, you do not question it. It speaks, you listen, end of story. However, when your ego provides advice you will probably experience doubt as to whether this is the right way to go or not. There will still be a lot of chatter and follow up questions. You will probably start to argue with your ego.

2. Intuition provides guidance not direction

Ego tells you what to do and told you why. Intuition, however, does not tell you what to do. Instead, it told you what you know to be true about yourself. Intuition provides you with universal truths about yourself. It is up to you what you are going to do about that truth. Can you stay in the relationship and be respected? If so, then you can stay. If not, you should leave. The choice is left up to you.

3. Intuition feels different

Intuition feels slightly differently for each person; however, within an individual it has a different feel from her ego.

Here are some signs to check for:

• Breathing – Is it deep and smooth? That is your intuition. Or is it shallow and rapid? That is your ego.
• Body – Are all your muscles completely relaxed? That is your intuition. Or, is there an area of your body which is tense? Ego.
• Awareness – Is the entire world shut out, and you are in pure thought? Intuition. Or, are you aware of your environment. Likely your ego.

It’s a matter of elimination

In the end, differentiating between your intuition and ego boils down to a matter of elimination.

Was that my intuition? Uh, no, something was off there.
Was that my intuition? Uh, yes, that felt absolutely right.

I am going to use the analogy of learning a new sport, like golf. When you first learn how to golf, you analyze your swing after the fact. Eventually, you make the perfect swing and you realize there is nothing to analyze. You just know from the feel that it was the perfect shot.

The same holds true for your intuition. Just keep using it and pay attention. Was I tense? Did I argue with myself? One day, you will have a complete Ah-ha! Moment and you will know THAT was your intuition.

Set fire to the rain

Enjoying this work free Friday, I decided to take myself out to lunch whilst running errands. It was just me and my salad and coffee, tranquilly people-watching. Everyone eating alone seemed to need a distraction - whether it  be a cell phone, a laptop, or some other technical device. Clearly there are valid reasons people need to be "plugged in" at all times....but I couldn't help question why. Why can't we just enjoy the solidarity of being alone in the crowd? Just enjoying our peace, freedom and individuality? Why the insecurity?

Now to the tune of...still being single.

I haven't had much to write about lately being wrapped up in other life stresses. I still think about the same questions and wonder the same things. Still off day dreaming once in a while, too.

Math with meaning.

http://psychicvisions.org/numerology_karmic.htm

KARMIC NUMBER 9

Number 9's can correct their karma by displaying more faith in the concept that the universe is a benevolent, rather than a cruel place. Detaching from their emotions and consistently displaying an upbeat and positive attitude usually brings them great rewards. Your biggest fear is that others will never trust you or vice versa. Others' first impression of you might be of a person that is desperately seeking approval or as passive aggressive.

On arrangement...

They are seen by many as business deals that have little to do with love. But arranged marriages are far more likely to lead to lasting affection than marriages of passion, experts claim. According to research, those in arranged marriages – or who have had their partner chosen for them by a parent or matchmaker – tend to feel more in love as time grows, whereas those in regular marriages feel less in love over time. And within ten years, the connection felt by those in arranged marriages is said to be around twice as strong. Relationship experts claim this is because arranged matches are carefully considered, with thought going into whether potential partners’ families, interests and life goals are compatible. This means they are more likely to commit for life – and to stick together through rocky patches. Those who marry for love, on the other hand, tend to be blinded by passion and so overlook these crucial details.

When the going gets tough, they are more likely to view the situation simply as a natural end to their romantic dream – a way of fate telling them something is wrong with the relationship. With soaring divorce rates and record numbers of single-parent households in the West, researchers suggest it is time to rethink the Western approach to love. Harvard academic Dr Robert Epstein has studied the subject of arranged marriages for eight years, looking at the approaches taken in cultural groups including Indian, Pakistani and Orthodox Jewish. He has interviewed more than 100 couples in arranged marriages to assess their strength of feeling and studied his findings against more than 30 years of research into love in Western and arranged marriages.

His work suggests that feelings of love in love matches begin to fade by as much as a half in 18 months, whereas the love in the arranged marriages tends to grow gradually, surpassing the love in the unarranged marriages at about the five-year mark. Ten years on, the affection felt by those in arranged marriages is typically twice as strong. Dr Epstein believes this is because Westerners leave their love lives to chance, or fate, often confusing love with lust, whereas those in other cultures look for more than just passion. He said: ‘The idea is we must not leave our love lives to chance. We plan our education, our careers and our finances but we’re still uncomfortable with the idea that we should plan our love lives. I do not advocate arranged marriages but I think a lot can be learned from them. ‘In arranged marriages, thought goes into the matching. In the West, physical attraction is important. But people must be able to distinguish lust from love. Strong physical attraction is very dangerous, it can be blinding. ‘In the West marriages are easy to get out of. But in arranged marriages, the commitment is very strong. They get married knowing they won’t leave, so when times are harder – if they face injury or trauma – they don’t run away. It brings them closer.’

Francine Kaye, relationship expert and author of The Divorce Doctor, added: ‘There is an awful lot to be said for arranged marriages. They are determined to make it work. ‘I have seen in arranged marriages in the Orthodox Jewish community that the parents very carefully look at compatibility – it is not left to chance. They do their homework on their characteristics, their values, morals and life goals. ‘It should be pointed out that arranged marriages work because culturally marriage is seen differently. We have a very romantic view of marriage. Theirs is more pragmatic.‘There is a downside to arranged marriages though – no matter how pragmatic you are in choosing a partner, there always needs to be chemistry.’

Never take your rights for granted.

An excerpt from The Bookseller of Kabul by Asne Seierstad


"In Afghanistan a woman's longing for love is taboo. It is forbidden by the tribes' notion of honor...Young people have no right to meet, to love, or to choose. Love has little to do with romance; on the contrary, love can interpreted as committing a serious crime, punishable by death. The undisciplined are cruelly killed. Should only one guilty party be executed, it is invariably the woman.

Young women are above all objects to be bartered or sold...Decisions are made according to the advantages the marriage brings to the tribe - feelings are rarely taken into consideration."

This one's for the girls...

THE FOUR CRITICAL KEYS TO LOVE

By Carol Allen (My favorite astrologist / relationship coach)

1. He must be relationship-oriented.

This is THE MOST IMPORTANT KEY. You must find a man that's "relationship material." He must be WANTING a relationship, and available for one, and know how to do them in the first place. Relationship-oriented men are obvious. They're usually in relationships! They like women. They like their mothers (or at least have forgiven her...). They have friends. They get along with people at work. They're philosophical about their exes - or friends with them still! (Which, while it may annoy you, is a GOOD SIGN.) Men who are not relationship-oriented are the opposite of this. They're usually NOT in relationships. And if they are, they're SHORT and end badly. They're not close to their families - or they're WAY TOO close to their families...They whine about their friends, or they have lots of drama with their friends, they hate everybody at work, or they spend most of their time alone. They HATE their exes, or call them "psycho." And this is the way they were LONG BEFORE they met you, and it's how they'll be LONG AFTER you're gone. You cannot turn a man who is not good at relationships or healthy enough emotionally to be in them... into a man who is. You don't have enough fairy dust up your sleeve. Better women have tried and failed, and failed some more...Don't tell yourself that HUGE LIE women tell themselves - "Once he sees how GREAT we are together, he'll WANT a relationship and he'll CHANGE."

2. It must be time for love.

Amazingly, astrology can reveal when you're in a "season of love" and when you're NOT. And when you're not, it doesn't matter how hard you try, or who you meet. You could hire the best matchmaker in the world, and be on every Internet dating site there is, and you wouldn't find HIM. Because to find the ONE it has to be TIME. Now, when it IS time, it's easy. Just as flowers can't grow when the ground is frozen and there's snow on top of them, but they can and effortlessly DO when the snow has melted and the conditions are right - there's nothing you have to DO once the conditions are right. He'll find you, and you'll find him, and that will be that. So many women come to me just MYSTIFIED at how much effort they're making to meet men, and at how badly it's going. Love isn't a "number's game" as so many people say. When it isn't time, it's not about numbers. It's about WAITING for when it is time, and focusing on having the best life possible in the meantime, so you'll be as attractive and ready for a great man when it IS time. This isn't just astrological, by the way. Studies show that a whopping FIFTY PERCENT of men getting married report that they COULD have just as easily married someone else from their past and been just as happy with her - but that THE TIMING WASN'T RIGHT - a move, a job change, a family drama, etc. GOT IN THE WAY and ended that other relationship. And that part of why they're marrying the woman they're marrying, is that THE TIMING FEELS RIGHT. It's such a relief to know this isn't your fault, you're not doing anything wrong, and you shouldn't "try harder" or "make more effort." You just have to wait...

3. He has to be the kind of person you're looking for, and you have to be the kind of person he's looking for.

Okay - so here's what that means...You can meet a great guy. He can be a "relationship guy." It can be a good time in both of your lives for a relationship - you're not involved with anyone else, you have the room in your schedules, you both want a relationship, etc. But you have to WANT the same kind of life. Or it won't work...Think about it.One of the biggest reasons couples break up is when one of them wants children and the other one doesn't. Or - one of them wants to live in the city and the other one wants to live in the country. One of you might be of a religion that requires you marry someone ELSE of that religion. But - you guessed it - you're not the same religion, and the non-religious person doesn't want to convert. So you have to be the kind of person he's looking for, and he has to be the kind of person you're looking for. And if you're not - then RUN, RUN, RUN. You're not going to make a nice, quiet chess player into a party animal. Or a man who hates snow into one who wants to go skiing every weekend in the wintertime. Or a man who doesn't care about material things and isn't very ambitious into one who wants to build an empire for you. If you want an empire - go find an emperor. Or build one yourself. So get clear on the kind of life you want and the kind of guy you'll need to have that life, and then go find him - and RESIST all others...

4. You have to be astrologically compatible.

Okay, so I started off by making this sound like it's not that big of a deal. Well, IT IS. It's just that it's not THE ONLY deal. But here's the thing - if you're not compatible then nothing else will matter. If you don't feel good around him, if you can't talk and have him understand what you're saying, if you don't have a foundation of friendship and healthy attraction for each other - you WON'T be happy no matter how much else is working for you...No matter what a great guy he is. No matter how much you both may want a relationship. No matter how much you both want the same things in life. It's one of the CRITICAL KEYS to love - so it's CRITICAL. As in - if it ain't happening, it's PARTY OVER. So please don't work too hard in a relationship. You're working too hard if your guy never sees your side, or invalidates your feelings all the time, or thinks you shouldn't want what you want. Believe it or not - all of that can be seen and more in the most amazing compatibility technique from the system of astrology of India - and it's been used forever to arrange marriages because it's that good.

Okay, so I said there are four critical keys to love. I lied. There are FIVE. The first four can be seen in the stars. The fifth cannot. But it's every bit as important - if not more so. And, again, since it's critical, without this last thing, you can't be successful for long EVEN if you have ALL of the other four. What could it possibly be that can ruin a relationship with ALL the other keys? One with a good man who wants what you want, who is in the right timing, who you are compatible with - how can ANYTHING go wrong with all of that? Well, imagine if that man started drinking too much. Or working too much.Or if he fell for someone else... It happens. All the time. Two good people get together and they have a good thing for a while - even maybe a LONG while - and then one of them starts doing something to HARM or NEGLECT the relationship. And all that other good stuff goes OUT the window.

In a nutshell - the fifth critical key is to have GOOD RELATIONSHIP SKILLS.

Now, this can sound like it's the same as #1. If a guy is a relationship-oriented guy, then you'd think he'd have good relationship skills - right? Not always. And you might get along great with your family and be everyone's best friend, but you might not have good relating skills when it comes to a CLOSE, PERSONAL, INTIMATE, PRIMARY relationship. Most people don't. Think about it - we're not taught this stuff in school. We have no good role models in the media. Over half of us have parents that divorced. Why should we have a clue how to do relationships? I'm constantly amazed at how little most healthy, smart, attractive, otherwise together people know when it comes to relating. It's why I became a relationship coach on top of an astrologer - time after time giving readings wasn't the thing that people needed - and it didn't really help them. They were trying to find the reason for their miserable love lives, trying to "blame the stars" for their latest breakup, or lack of closeness with their partner - when usually it was that they didn't understand how to communicate, or how to ask for what they wanted, or how to inspire their partner to show up for them... And once they learned THAT stuff - they couldn't believe how much their relationships improved, and how much they were able to get "back that spark..." So, if you've lost your spark with the one you love, or if he USED to seem like your dream man but now you're not so sure, or if he's withdrawn from you and not as enthusiastic as you'd like, then your relationship skills need an upgrade.

You can have EVERYTHING you long for in love - but only if you have ALL FIVE of the keys I've just described. Please don't compromise or settle for anything less. It won't make you happy and it won't last.

Why love is not an emotion

After attempting to express my own "definition," I came across this  in a book I am currently reading.

From the book "The Language of Emotions" by Karla McLaren

When an emotion is healthy, it arises only when it's needed, it shifts and changes in response to its environment, and it recedes willingly once it has addressed an issue. When love is healthy, it does none of these things. Love does not increase or decrease...and it does not change with the changing winds. Love is not an emotion; it doesn't behave the way emotions do. Real love is in a category of its own.

Those things we've learned to equate with love - the longing, the physical attraction, the shared hobbies, the desire, the yearning, the lust, the projections, the addictive cycles, the passions - those things move and change and fluctuate in the way emotions do, but they're not love. Love is utterly stable and utterly unaffected by any emotion. When we love truly, we can experience all our free-flowing, mood state, and raging-rapids emotions, while continuing to love and honour our loved ones. Love isn't the opposite of fear or anger or any other emotion. Love is much, much deeper than that.

For some people, love is merely adoration, which is a form of projection (creating an "ideal" image of who someone is)...it's what passes for love in many relationships: you find someone who can act out your unlived material (the parts of you that you don't necessarily honor) attach yourself to them, and enter into a haunted carnival ride of moods and desires. When the projections fall and you see your adoration target for who he or she truly is, you become disillusioned and try to reattach your projections, or even seek another person to project unto. But that's not love, because real love doesn't play games with other people's souls, and it doesn't depend upon what you can project unto your partner or what you can get out of the relationship. Real love is a prayer and a deathless promise: an unwavering dedication to the soul of your loved one and the soul of the world...real love never wavers. Real love endures all emotions, and it survives trauma, betrayal, divorce and even death.

Love doesn't restrict itself to romantic relationships. Love is everywhere. When you're lost and you can't seem to find love anywhere, you're listening to love in human language instead of listening to the language of love.

Rollin' in the deep. (Just a normal day for me.)

I found this quote I had written in an old journal of mine. My computer's been acting up so I've been forced to do what I said the whole point of not having cable was - to read and write.


"Love is not a habit, a commitment or a debt. It isn't what romantic songs tell us it is - love simply is. No definitions. Love and don't ask too many questions."

I disagree. I think we all have a photograph of love in our minds, a snapshot of how our hearts function.

What is love to you?
What does it feel like?
What does it sound like?
What would it look like?
Are we even supposed to perceive it in such figurative dimensions?

I don't easily give my heart out. I've been in love three times. I'm not even sure if I'd call those last two real love - more like infatuation gone wild. However, all loves are indeed learning experiences.


Some people say love is a verb - I say love is when your soul has been ignited on fire.

It's intense, it's full of depth. it's the merging of two hearts and two souls. It's wanting to know every facet of another human being - the good and the bad, the true and the imaginary. It's diving into another person's soul and wrapping yourself up in it. It's transformative. You have a natural understanding and accept them for every single part of who they are - past and present. It's the feeling that you are going home - it's comfort. You have to be with that person; it's not the quantity that matters as much as the quality. You want to stay in that moment of peace and embracing forever. You desire to express every intricate idea and thought about life, about love, about you, about them, about your dreams, your hopes, your desires, your past, your present, your feelings, your fears. It's the feeling that you would go to battle for a person and not seek or demand anything in return. It encompasses trust and because of that, it doesn't cage you in but allows you to float freely and come back together like two pieces of a puzzle. There's a raw passion to love that is often diminished by the chores of daily life; a passion that only you can keep pulsating by taking the time to step out of the mundane world into the one you create with your love.

This sentiment, which lies within me, is probably easily picked up by others and is probably why I'm still single.  A lot of people just don't do intense - it's a somewhat scary quality to deal with. Most people like simple and easy. I'm glad I wrote that. It's nice to just admit and embrace that I'm not "simple and easy". No one may have the same ideas as I do but hopefully, I will find someone who understands it.

Some Sex. And the city.

I had a friend text me and say that he had recently watched Sex and the City 2. Now, I loved the movie despite it's lack luster critiques. However, as I started to think about it Carrie kind of pissed me of in the movie. Here she is FINALLY married to the man who a. broke her heart multiple times and b. drove her penchant for over-analysis into cosmic gears with his apparent emotional unavailability and fear of commitment. In real life, I highly doubt their marriage ever would have happened. Carrie's passion and love intimidated him. Anywho - back to the movie. The girls jet-set off to Abu-Dabi and OF COURSE who does Carrie run into? Aiden. The ex-fiancee who was never really her type anyway. Complete opposites. Well, since Carrie was having one of those "stale" periods in her marriage, i.e. normalcy, she decides to go on a dinner date with Aiden who is also married with kids. At the end of dinner, these two good-looking ex- lovers are taking a midnight stroll through this romantical tunnel in the mystical city and OF COURSE make-out! I know, I know. It was a very Carrie thing to do...she's never satisfied and always looking for that "thrill."

I think the idea it brought me to was why getting what you want still doesn't bring happiness in some cases. I understand that Big was starting to get kind of blah in the relationship but that's when you communicate and make compromises. She should have known better, lol, or at least thought back to all the crap she went through while being single.

Just sayin.

Theme song.

This is not the end
This is not the beginning,
Just a voice like a riot
Rocking every revision
But you listen to the tone
And the violent rhythm
Though the words sound steady
Something empty's within 'em

We say Yeah!
With fists flying up in the air
Like we're holding onto something
That's invisible there,
'Cause we're living at the mercy of
The pain and the fear
Until we dead it, Forget it,
Let it all disappear.

Waiting for the end to come
Wishing I had strength to stand
This is not what I had planned
It's out of my control....

Flying at the speed of light
Thoughts were spinning in my head
So many things were left unsaid
It's hard to let you go...

I know what it takes to move on,
I know how it feels to lie,
All I wanna do
Is trade this life for something new
Holding on to what I haven't got

Sitting in an empty room
Trying to forget the past
This was never meant to last,
I wish it wasn't so...

What was left when that fire was gone?
I thought it felt right but that right was wrong
All caught up in the eye of the storm
And trying to figure out what it's like moving on
And i don't even know what kind of things I've said
My mouth kept moving and my mind went dead
So, picking up the pieces, now where to begin?
The hardest part of ending is starting again

All I wanna do
Is trade this life for something new
Holding on to what i haven't got...
- Linkin Park

How can the heart in love ever stop opening?

I think about love a lot. Does anyone else? I was folding my clean clothes a few minutes ago and thought...

"I wish love could be more like that Sims game."

As in, you wear this unique symbol over your head that no one else in the world has, except the person you are supposed to Be With. That would make dating a lot easier...but not as interesting and introspective, I guess.

I know I torture myself with the question Why? all the time. However, my ever-pondering mind and soul doesn't feel totally complete unless I know the reason behind why things happen...why things are the way they are and how they got that way. I'm always wondering why certain people come and go, maybe stay, in my life. The reason isn't always apparent at first. Maybe I even just make it up in order to give things a significance.

Perhaps I'm just hoping to run into That Person with a matching shape.

Lenguaje del Amor

http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/love/

I'm Quality Time.

What's your language of love?

The Roaring 20's

Another well written snippet that intrigued me.


"The twenties are known by some to be that relatively easy era beyond the strife of adolescence, a time of openness, discovery, and experimentation. You are no longer a wildly hormonal zit-driven hater of your parents. You’ve likely graduated from at least one institution, according to statistics, probably at least one institution of higher learning. But anyone that’s a hair beyond twenty-five knows that any light reading of the late twenties is as fake as a Louis Vuitton in Chinatown. Like most myths about aging, this one is a doozey. The twenties can be hard. Really, really hard.

But why, god, why is it so hard? The universal complaints of the Saturn Return show us that it is not a simply a falsely imposed cultural construction. Western culture (American in particular) is the only one that force feeds this value system on its people. Our culture allows us to vacillate wildly through our twenties, party like frat boys, and then by the eve of our thirtieth birthday expects us to have an engagement ring and a 401 K in hand. We learn early that if you haven’t gotten your act together by that fateful date, it’s probably all downhill. Thirty continues to be a threatening mile-marker on life’s highway. When we hit this age, inner and outer chaos descends. (In our navel-gazing culture, it is probably a slightly heavier burden to bear.)"